I'm Mad
by Trippy Libby
Summary: Told in Alice's POV. She tells how she feels about being written off as 'mad'. Alice and Cheshire also have a romantic night together. Just think of this as my own prelude to the game.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Alice, nor do I own the Cheshire cat. Sad but, true.  
  
A/N: This little number is told in Alice's pov. She goes into a moment of reflection, stating her resentment for being written off as 'mad'. Enjoy.  
  
  
As I lay here in my asylum bed, I hear the doctors and nurses rave on about how 'mad' I am.  
  
I'm mad, indeed. If they the saw things that I do every night in my dreams, they'd be mad too.  
  
If they had to watch their families get burned alive and know that they could do nothing to save them, would they not be mad too?  
  
I'm mad. That's all I ever hear them say. Every night they mock me about Wonderland, and every night it's the same conclusion, I'm mad.  
  
I'm mad. Ha, I'd like to see them have to slaughter their way through card guards and Boojums and see if they don't go mad, with their long sharp pikes, and the death curling screams that terrorifies the soul.  
  
I'd like to see them hear the screams of their lost loved ones every night and see if they don't go mad.  
  
Every night when I close my eyes, I see the hellhole that Wonderland has become. Don't they understand? The fate of Wonderland rests in my hands, if I fail, not only will Wonderland never be freed, but, I will be forever trapped in this looming insanity.  
  
Everyday I look up at the ceiling and I wonder, can I do it? Can I free Wonderland and save my sanity?  
  
Then I hear a voice in my room, smooth and articulate, whispering words of wisdom and comfort to me.  
  
I turn my head slightly to see my Cheshire cat sitting in the chair next to my bed.  
  
"Cheshire, why do they mock me? Why won't they stop saying that I'm mad?" I asked.  
  
Cheshire sighed and jumped onto the bed to face me.  
  
"That's because to some degree, you are mad, my dear, Alice. Do not worry though, everyone here is also mad to some degree. They just either don't realize it, or, don't want to admit it." Cheshire said.  
  
"Is everyone in this world truly mad, Cheshire? It doesn't seem that way." I said.  
  
"My dear, sweet, Alice. Things are not always as they seem. There is really no such thing as sanity. Like I said, everyone is mad. Sanity is just a delusion that people use to keep themselves safe because they fear the unknown, and don't trust what cannot be explained." Cheshire said.  
  
"Well, I want to be sane, so, I guess I'm no better than the rest of them." I said.  
  
Cheshire smiled and lifted my chin up with his paw. For being a mangy cat, he always was pretty strong.  
  
"Why do you say that, Alice? You're so much better than the rest of them." Cheshire said.  
  
Really? Why is that?" I asked.  
  
"Because, you were willing to learn the truth. You understand what it's like to live in some insane nightmare. You don't shrug us off as 'only in my mind'. You were willing to see what was beyond the looking glass. You believe dearly that we exist when noone else does. That why you are able to see us and they cannot.   
  
They don't see what's right in front of them. People fear what they really are, so they block us out. You, however, managed to see through all that and had the pleasure of seeing Wonderland for what it really was before the queen destroyed it. It's thanks to you that we are still alive Alice." Cheshire said.  
  
I was speechless. I never imagined that I would have been the one responsible for keeping Cheshire and the rest of Wonderland alive, and all because I believed that they existed, because, I loved them all. Especially the mangy cat that sat in front of me this very moment. It brought tears to my eyes.  
  
"Alice, why are crying, sweetheart?" Cheshire asked. His grin turning into a concerned frown.  
  
"Because, I never realized that I had such a strong impact on you all. I never knew that you needed me in order to stay alive." I said.  
  
Cheshire smiled again and wiped my tears away with his tail. It felt strange, but, comforting. He sighed and laid down next to me on the bed.  
  
"Believe it or not Alice, but, you and you alone have the power to determine the fate of Wonderland. The queen does not realize this though. She was the one who ordered the card guards to start the fire that killed your parents. What she didn't count on though, was the fact that you survived. That's why Wonderland hasn't died yet, despite how sick and twisted it has become. She doesn't realize that you have the power to kill her." Cheshire said.  
  
My eyes went as wide as tea saucers and my jaw dropped. I could not believe what I hearing.  
  
"Cheshire, what makes you think I have what it takes to kill her?" I asked.  
  
Cheshire laughed and laid his head on my shoulder to look up at me.  
  
"Because, you are the only one who ever had enough courage to stand up to her. Others have tried, but, they have either died, or gave up, and let themselves get plunged into her eternal madness. You are the only one who survived and didn't give up. Even some of Wonderland's inhabitants have given in to the evil that the queen has infested upon us." Cheshire said.  
  
"Cheshire, is it really as bad as all that?" I asked.  
  
"It's worse than you can imagine, Alice." Cheshire said.  
  
He began to cry softly into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him in a comforting hug and began to gently pet him.  
  
"It's alright, Cheshire. Everything's going to be fine. I promise." I said.  
  
"You don't understand, Alice. Yes, as long as you believe that Wonderland is real we will live, but, if you fail to kill the queen we'll never be freed and you'll be trapped in her madness forever!" Cheshire sobbed.  
  
I closed my eyes and sighed. I continued to pet Cheshire as he sobbed openly in my embrace. I began to hum softly, and it seemed to calm him down. His sobbing became soft whimpers.  
  
"Don't worry, Cheshire. I'll take care of her and make everything right again." I said.  
  
He looked up at me with teary eyes and I softly scratched behind his ears, making him purr.  
  
A strange feeling then came over me. I found myself wishing at that moment, that Cheshire was human instead of a cat. Almost as if he could read my mind,(and I wouldn't be surprised if he could) he shot his head up and with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he jumped off the bed.  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot. There's something I want to show you, Alice. This is only between you and me, though. You can't tell anyone when you come to Wonderland. I haven't told anyone because I don't want the queen to find out." Cheshire said.  
  
I was dumbfounded. How is it that Cheshire confides more in me than the other remaining good residents of Wonderland?  
  
"I won't say word, Cheshire. I promise." I said.  
  
He smiled and vanished. When he reappeared, I nearly had a heart attack. He was no longer a cat. He had somehow managed to become a man, and quite a handsome one at that. He was tall, at least 6 foot, with a slender build, soft black hair and hazel eyes. He looked like one of the male assistants who worked here. The only one that was actually nice to me.  
  
"Che… Cheshire? Is that really you?" I asked, still not believing what I was seeing.  
  
He smiled and walked back to my bed and leaned down next to me.  
  
"Yes, Alice. It's me." Cheshire said.  
  
"But how?" I asked.  
  
"A new ability that I learned sometime ago. I never said anything to anyone in Wonderland, because knowing the queen; she would try to use me as bait to get to you. Her madness is the worst type that I've ever seen." Cheshire said.  
  
"You look like one of the guys who work here. The only one who's actually nice to me." I said.  
  
Cheshire smirked and chuckled. I raised an eye brow in confusion. He leaned over until our cheeks were touching. I could feel his warm breath on my neck.  
  
"If you mean Alex Gomez then, surprise, surprise, my dear." Cheshire said.  
  
I gasped. Cheshire chuckled and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I went rigid. I couldn't move for a moment. The only sound that heard was that of my heavy breathing.  
  
"Alice, are you alright?" Cheshire asked.  
  
I didn't respond at first. I was still getting over the shock of letting what I had just seen and heard sink in.  
  
"Alice? For god's sake, Alice, answer me!" Cheshire exclaimed, shaking me lightly.  
  
"I, uh.. I'm alright. I'm just kind of shocked, that's all." I said.  
  
"Don't do that, Alice. You scared the carp out of me." Cheshire said.  
  
I smiled weakly. I really hadn't meant to scare him, but, surely he expected me to have that type of reaction.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." I said.  
  
"It's alright, dear. I was just worried that I had put you back in that damn catatonic state." Cheshire said.  
  
I laughed and shook my head. Then a realization hit me.  
  
"It was you the whole time, wasn't it Cheshire?" I asked.  
  
Cheshire smiled and nodded. He gently stoked my cheek with his hand and I blushed.  
  
"Yes Alice. I had to protect you from the all those doctors who wanted to put you to sleep." Cheshire said.  
  
"Put me to sleep? Cheshire, I don't understand." I said.  
  
Cheshire sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"Since you were always in that catatonic state, the doctors all figured that since they couldn't wake you, that they should just put you out of your misery." Cheshire said.  
  
"You mean they were going to kill me!" I exclaimed.  
  
Cheshire nodded.  
  
"Yes, they were, Alice. That's about the same time I learned how make myself look human. I made up the name that I use, and applied to work here so I keep an eye on you." Cheshire said.  
  
Tears came to my eyes. I could not believe that all those doctors wanted to kill me, and for absolutely no reason at all. It wasn't fair. If Cheshire hadn't been here, I would surely be dead by now. Cheshire smiled and wiped away my tears.  
  
"Don't worry, Alice. You're alright now. I won't let anyone harm you. I managed to convince the doctors not to kill you." Cheshire said.  
  
"For the last ten years, you've been watching me, haven't you? Even before you learned how to change form?" I asked.  
  
Cheshire nodded and blushed. I giggled.  
  
"Yes Alice. Ever since your first visit to Wonderland, I have watched over you and protected you. At first, through Dinah, than some alley cat that hangs around here, and now as Alex Gomez." Cheshire said chuckling.  
  
My jaw dropped. I knew that Cheshire was not an ordinary cat, but, I never really did understand the full extent of his powers.  
  
"You never cease to amaze me, Cheshire." I said.  
  
Cheshire smirked.  
  
Yeah, I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?" Cheshire asked.  
  
I laughed. Cheshire was always quite the joker.  
  
"So Cheshire. When will I be able to return to Wonderland?" I asked.  
  
Cheshire's smile turned into a frown.  
  
"Why are you so eager to go that hellhole?" Cheshire asked.  
  
I smiled.  
  
"Because, the sooner I get to Wonderland, the sooner I get to kill the queen, and the sooner that bitch is dead, the sooner you and the rest of Wonderland will be free, and then I'll finally get to leave this god awful place." I said.  
  
Cheshire sighed.  
  
"I wish you didn't have to see what a nightmare Wonderland has become. I hate to see you so tormented." Cheshire said.  
  
I smiled and reached up to stoke his hair.  
  
"Alice, I…" Cheshire's voice trailed off.  
  
"Is that why you won't let me go back, Cheshire? Don't you understand? Wonderland is every bit a part of me as I am a part of it. Your pain is my pain. That is why I want to free Wonderland. I want to free you all from the evil nightmare that the queen has brought upon you all. Only then, will my mind truly be at peace, and although I understand that I'm mad, I will finally be free from this never ending insanity." I said.  
  
"I never saw it that way, but, you're right Alice. I don't understand how or why, but, there's a tie that binds us together. That's why I personally took it upon myself to watch and protect you." Cheshire said.  
  
"I feel closer to you than I do to the others, though. Yes, I do care about them all, and I really do want to help them, but, you are the only who seems to truly understand me. You believe in me, and you're there whenever I need you." I said.  
  
Cheshire's eyes became watery with tears. He smiled and held my hand.  
  
"You know I do would anything for you, Alice." Cheshire said.  
  
"Yes, I know. I want to return the favor, and protect you, just as you have protected me." I said.  
  
Cheshire closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek. I gently wiped it away and he sighed. I stood up and gave him a tight hug.  
  
"Thank you, Alice." Cheshire whispered in my ear.  
  
I smiled. I lifted my head up to look at him. I began to stroke his cheek and he blushed. Then I slowly reached up and placed my lips on his in a soft kiss. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, and closing his eyes, he deepened the kiss. At that moment I understood why I felt so close to him. I was shocked to say the least, but, I was happy. At that moment I realized that I loved him.   
  
After a few minutes we pulled apart and looked at eachother.  
  
"I…I can't believe you that." Cheshire said.  
  
"Me niethier. I'm glad I did though." I said.  
  
"So am I. I love you, Alice." Cheshire said.  
  
"I love you too, Cheshire." I said.  
  
He scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to my bed. He lay down next to me and I snuggled against him. He sighed and began stroking my hair.  
  
"You look so tired, Alice. Why don't you try to get some sleep?" Cheshire said.  
  
"Will you stay with me until morning?" I asked.  
  
"Of course I will. Now try to get some rest." Cheshire said.  
  
I sighed and closed my eyes. Cheshire wrapped his arms around me.  
  
"Sleep well my love, and remember, we're all mad here." Cheshire said.  
  
"I will, Cheshire. Thank you." I said.  
  
I opened my eyes again only to find that Cheshire had already fallen asleep. I smiled and kissed his forehead.  
  
~Sleep well, Cheshire. Don't worry, as god is my witness, I will kill the queen and set you all free. Then I'll be free to leave this place. Until then, I'll just sleep by your side.~ was my last thought before falling into a calm, peaceful sleep in Cheshire loving embrace.  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Well, I hope you all liked my little prelude. Cheshire remained in human form BTW. R/R. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This was originally intended to be a one-shot story. I accidentally removed the story and lost my reviews. No biggy, though. Anyway, here's chapter 2.  
  
  
  
I woke up the next morning to find that Cheshire was gone. In his place, was a note and a red rose wrapped in a red ribbon. Smiling, I picked up the rose and took a moment to inhale the sweet scent. I then put the rose on my night stand and unfolded the note.  
  
  
  
~Dear Alice,  
  
I'm sorry that I couldn't be here when you woke up. My shift started at six this morning. Much to my dislike, I've also been assigned to work all the way on the other side of the asylum today, so I may not be able to come and check on you. I hope you liked the rose I left you. I love you, and I'll see you tonight.  
  
P.S. Be good. Please don't give the nurses a hard time today; I'm still too tired to use my power of persuasion on them.  
  
Cheshire. ~  
  
  
  
I couldn't help but giggle at the two sentences. Nonetheless, I shall do as he asked. After all, the poor guy does deserve a break. I looked at the clock in my room and saw it was nine in the morning. My nurse should be here shortly to give me my medicine. Sure enough, D came in five minutes later with a tray in her hands. I sighed. It was going to be an awfully long day. D always made things so difficult.  
  
"Alice, it is time for your medicine, child." D said.  
  
I sat up and D came over to my bed. She poured the medicine into a spoon, and as nasty as that medicine tasted, I drank it without any protests.  
  
"Oh, my god! I can't believe it! You took it willing! I must say, that this is quite an improvement Alice. There maybe hope for you, after all." D said.  
  
~Yeah, whatever. Don't get used to it. Just do whatever it is you came here to do and get out. I'm in no mood for your annoyance today. ~  
  
D set the tray on my lap and opened it. I ate the food rather quickly even though I was not the least bit hungry, in the hope that when I was done she would finally leave.  
  
"Well, it seems we're done, Alice. See what happens when you don't give us trouble, and try to stall. You get things over and done with." D said.  
  
~Oh, for crying out loud! I don't care to hear your rambling! Just finish your business and get out, already! ~  
  
D took the tray off my lap and put it aside. She then took out a washcloth and a bar of soap.  
  
"Alright, now just let me give you your bath real quick, and then I'll leave you alone." D said.  
  
~Ahhhh!!!!!!!!~  
  
I sighed. There was really nothing I could do. Cheshire has asked to not give my nurse a hard time today. I want to do him that favor, but, D is not making it easy for me. Being pestered by my nurse is not my idea of a pleasant day. I just hope that she remains true to her word, and decides to leave me alone after my bath.  
  
~Alright, let's get this over with. ~  
  
D put me in the tub and began to wash me. I remained perfectly still for fear that if I moved; I might do something that I will most surely regret later on.  
  
Thankfully, after my bath she finally left. Thank god! I can't stand that nurse; all she does is bother everyone. She'll be back to give me my lunch, though. I just pray that that the rest of the day goes by quickly. 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Well, here it is. The third and final chapter to 'I'm Mad.' It's about time, huh? Sorry. So, here you go, my last chapter and second Alice/Cheshire lemon.  
  
WARNING: This final chapter is a lemon. This person named Shroomie flamed me, so I decided to write this to piss him and other flamers off. I also wrote this for the enjoyment of those who did like this story. Well, with that out of the way, on with the lemon!!!!!  
  
  
Nightfall finally came. That meant D would go home and leave me in peace for the rest of the night. Thank the gods. It's so quiet now, I hear footsteps and they stop at my door. The door opens and Cheshire walks in. I smiled when I saw him.  
  
"Long day at work?" I asked.  
  
Cheshire looked at me with a face like he was ready to kill someone.  
  
"The people here are idiots! I swear, the only smart ones here are you and some of the other patients!" Cheshire exclaimed.  
  
He threw himself onto my bed and sighed.  
  
"The things I do for you, Alice." Cheshire muttered.  
  
I giggled and began to stroke his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed.  
  
"Thank you for the rose." I said.  
  
Cheshire smiled. He sat up and reached over to kiss me.  
  
"You're welcome. You know, you really gave D quite a shock when you actually 'behaved yourself' today. I never heard anyone ramble on so much about anyone in my life." Cheshire said.  
  
I laughed.  
  
"The things I do for you, Cheshire." I said.  
  
Cheshire smirked.  
  
"Oh, so we're going to be like that, huh? Come here, you." Cheshire said.  
  
He pulled me into a passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he gently pulled me down onto the bed. He began to nibble on my ear, making me giggle. His hands found their way to my nightgown and he began to slowly unzip it. I let out a soft moan as he began a trail of kisses down my neck. He slid the nightgown off my shoulders exposing my bare breast to him. He kissed me and reached for the rose that was on my nightstand. He slowly passed it across my lips, down my neck, and around my breast. He passed it along my nipples, making me moan softly. Cheshire chuckled softly.  
  
"I knew you would like the rose. Seems it can do more than just look pretty, doesn't it." Cheshire said.  
  
I gave him an amused glare.  
  
"And just what do you mean by that? Wait a minute; you planned it, didn't you?" I asked.  
  
Cheshire smirked.  
  
"Well, seems I got caught. You're not gonna punish me, are you?" Cheshire asked making a pouty face.  
  
We laughed. When our laughter died down, he kissed me again. I slowly moved my hands down his chest. I started unbuttoning his shirt and he started kissing down my neck again. He gently caressed my breast with his hands and ran his thumbs over my already hardened nipples. I finished unbuttoning his shirt and threw it aside. Cheshire let out a chuckling purr and brought his mouth down to my right breast. He kissed and licked all over until he found the nipple. I moaned when he began licking it and gasped when he took it in his mouth. I ran my hands up and down his bare back. I couldn't believe how well defined he was. I stroked his hair as I softly whispered his name. Cheshire kissed his way down my stomach and licked around my bellybutton, making me giggle. He slid my nightgown off and tossed it aside. He kissed and licked my inner thighs, making me wither with pleasure.  
  
"Cheshire." I whispered.  
  
Cheshire looked up at me and smiled. He gently stroked my hair and reach down to kiss me again. I couldn't believe it, I had never felt so good before in my life. For the first time in years, I felt safe and truly loved. Cheshire slowly slid my panties down my legs and tossed it, along with my nightgown. He flicked my throbbing clit a few times before sticking a finger inside me. I cried out in delight, He rubbed my womanhood gently before his mouth claimed me again. He began to gently suck and lick at my moist womanhood before sticking his tongue into my entrance.  
  
"Oh god, Cheshire." I moaned.  
  
He started a steady rhythm and before long, I orgasmed all over his face. He lapped up my love juices and reached up to kiss me.  
  
"Now it's my turn." I said.  
  
Cheshire laid on his back and I got on top of him. I gave him a long tender kiss before moving down his neck. I licked and kissed it before moving to his chest. I ran my hands softly along his chest and gently stroked his erection. He moaned loudly and let out a soft purr.  
  
"Alice." Cheshire purred.  
  
I kissed my way down his chest and undid his pants. I slid them off his legs, along with his briefs and tossed them aside. I took a moment to admire his size before running my hands up and down his length. I licked the tip and gave it a kiss before taking him in my mouth. He gave a loud moan and putting his hands behind my head, he began to softly play with my hair. I started slowly at first, then gradually increased the pace. I felt him expand in my mouth as he neared release.  
  
"Oh god, Alice." Cheshire moaned.  
  
I tried to continue, but he stop me. I looked up at him confused. He smirked and flipped me on my back so he was once again on top.  
  
"Alice, this is going to hurt, but only for a few minutes." Cheshire said.   
  
I nodded and braced myself. He entered me slowly until I cried out in pain. He stroked my hair and kissed my neck to relax me. In one swift thrust, he broke through the barrier of my virginity. Tears rolled down my eyes from the pain. Cheshire stopped and licked away my tears, while gently caressing my inner thighs.  
  
"I'm sorry, Alice. I promise the pain will be over soon." Cheshire said.  
  
He kissed me again and after a few minutes I bucked my hips to let him know that it was okay for him to continue. He entered me again, slowly at first, then gradually increased the pace. I felt my walls beginning to tighten and after a few minutes, I climaxed. My walls tightening around Cheshire's length brought him to his climax as well. He fell on top of me and rolled over on his back. I snuggled against him. I let out a soft sigh of happiness, while Cheshire let out a rather loud purr. The sound of his purring lured me into an even further state of relaxation.  
  
"I love you, Cheshire." I said.  
  
"I love you too, Alice. You'll be going back to Wonderland soon and as much as it's gonna hurt us both, you must act as if there's nothing between us. The less the queen knows the better." Cheshire said.  
  
"I know. Don't worry, you're here with me now, so I know everything's gonna be alright." I said.  
  
He smiled and pulled me closer. He leaned down and we shared another long, tender kiss before falling asleep in each other's arms.  
  
~Don't worry, Cheshire. I'll get that queen for what's she's done to you all. Soon, you will all be free from her evil nightmare. ~ Were my last thoughts before drifting off to a blissful sleep.  
  
  
  
A/N: Well, there's my second Alice/ Cheshire lemon. I hope you all enjoyed my prelude to the game. Sorry it took so long to post this last chapter. R/R. 


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